I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
