You're completely useless in the revolution.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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