your room smells of hookers.
And success
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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