ya dads aren't the best wingmen
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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