So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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