why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
