The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
