A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
