hell yes lets make some ravioli
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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