Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
