so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize