Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
