it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
