is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
