we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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