His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
