apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
