I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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