some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
