I wish i was in the wii world.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
