I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
