new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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