every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just want nice things and good sex
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
