I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
