I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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