i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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