The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Less talking, more tequila
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
