Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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