Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
