i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
