So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
