Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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