That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
