It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
