I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
