i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
