There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i think i scared a bird with my dick
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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