just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
