U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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