I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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