the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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