um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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