called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
