thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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