I love black thongs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
