So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
