You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
