Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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