Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
