She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
