He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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