me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
