you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
