my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so explain again why im purple
no
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My bed smells like the plague
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
