Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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