i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
