Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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