at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
