Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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